Mathijs Mulder-Barge
Live Aligned, Master your Mindset, Create Success.
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The five
fundamentals
of Thriving
Over the last decade I've lived in various communities all over the world, explored different traditions and worked with a lot of people in the areas of spirituality, personal growth and healing. The five fundamentals of Thriving is an attempt to summarize what I learned during my journey, so that it can be shared for the benefit of others.

Embodiment
Are you able
​
to express your
​
authentic self?

Sexual Mastery
How much life force
​
are you able to
contain?

Emotional
Hygiene
How do you react to
the world around
you?

Personal
Leadership
Are you able to
​
focus your energy?

Inspiration
Are you connected to
your authentic self?

Embodiment
The foundation is Embodiment. Which to me can be summarized in one sentence: the ability to express your authentic self. We all come to earth as our authentic selves. As a baby we are still mostly connected with the collective and when we get older our personality starts to take shape. In perfect circumstances, this would be the expression of our authentic self, but because we interact with the world and the experiences we have we start adjusting ourselves. In order to ‘fit in’ we adjust ourselves to please our caretakers and society. In doing so we guarantee a certain level of safety, but we also (partially) abandon our authentic self.
​
Embodiment is about reconnecting to your authentic self. It means becoming aware of the patterns you developed to feel safe, but do not feel genuine to you. Through touch, movement, breath and sound you can learn to release all the tension that has been stored in your system as a result of not living your authentic self. In this fundament of Thriving you become aware of your trauma, how you can regulate your nervous system and explore ways to express yourself authentically.
On my own journey Embodiment has been one of the last aspects to go deeper in, it is also one of my favourites, because for me it gives so much colour to life! For instance: I always loved dancing, but to be able to go beyond choreography and give full expression to my authentic self through movement has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life. I practice embodiment through dance, shaking, breathwork, dearmouring, myofascial release, working with cold and connecting with nature.
Sexual Mastery
Sexual Mastery is about the question: how much sexual energy can you contain? Sexual energy equals life force. If you can hold more of it in your system, your manifestation power, creativity, playfulness and quality of life intensifies significantly.
​
Most people haven’t learned how to manage their sexual energy in a healthy way. In this fundamental of thriving we reshape our views on sexuality and sexual energy. You learn how to increase the energy in your system and how to work with it, we explore sexual fantasies and shadows, sexual trauma, our relationship to pleasure and consent. Life becomes a more intense and juicy experience when you master your sex. The more you master sexuality, the more you will be able to show up in life.
In my personal journey Sexual Mastery has played a very significant role. I had a very distorted view of sexuality, due to a lack of sexual education and watching porn since the age of 11. Through a long process of deconditioning I was able to change my sexual paradigm from pornbased sex to deeply intimate, connected sexuality. I practice Sexual Mastery by keeping and raising my energy by not ejaculating, exploring sexual shadows, having a healthy self pleasure practice and circulating my energy using movement and breath. Currently I'm studying Tantric Sexology at the Human Evolutionary Academy in Copenhagen.


Emotional Hygiene
If you look up hygiene in the dictionary you’ll find the following definition: “conditions or practices conducive to maintaining health and preventing disease“. When it comes to our physical body this is common sense these days, but maintaining health an preventing disease by taking care of our emotions is relatively new. Every day we go through countless waves of emotions when interacting with the world, but often we are unaware of these, which makes it hard to properly take care of them.
​
Emotional Hygiene is about getting to know yourself. What patterns have you developed while interacting with the world and how do they impact you? It is also about finding healthy ways to express your emotions. In this fundamental you will learn how to track on a physical, emotional en mental level, we will look at your ancestral timeline, explore different parts of your personality and find healthy ways to express your emotions and interact with the world.
There was a strong emphasis on tracking physical, emotional and mental sensations in my journey. At Hridaya Yoga they called it witnessing, during my training at One Consciousness Academy it was called stalking and at Heart IQ they called it tracking. It gave me a whole new perspective and experience when it comes to emotions. I used to deny many of my emotions. I was especially out of touch with my anger. Being able to connect with and integrate these parts of myself has caused huge shifts and made me who I am today. Tracking is still something I do regularly. I take the time to reflect in the morning what is alive on a physical, emotional and mental level. I also attend a weekly men circle, where we together talk about what is alive, which for me is vital to my emotional hygiene. In my morning practice I take the time to feel into my emotions and release what needs releasing through movement, breath or sound.
Personal Leadership
One of my teachers, Senia Melchizedek, used to say “People are masters in distraction”. It’s a sentence that has rang true to me from the beginning. We distract ourselves so much! Just think about it for a moment: how much time of your life are you conscious and focused on what you want to manifest in the world? Human beings are wired to avoid pain and to look for comfort. By doing this, most of us have become masters in distraction. Distraction can take many forms: work, food, alcohol, drugs, television, youtube, social media, sex etc. There is nothing wrong with enjoying these things by themselves, but when they become an addiction they can distract you from what is important in life.
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Personal leadership is about being able to keep the focus on your goals in life, even if this means stepping out of your comfort zone. We will work on formulating a vision and goals for yourself, explore stepping out of your comfort zone, mapping your limiting beliefs and distractions, timemanagement and empowerment in order to become a confident leader in this world.
Some of the most important influences in regards to personal leadership came from my corporate background. I’ve done numerous company trainings in regards to personal effectiveness and gained a lot of insight on how to formulate a vision and goals. Along with the trainings I did in terms of personal growth and empowerment this created the foundation for the fundamental of Personal Leadership.


Inspiration
Inspiration involves taking care of and aligning the most subtle aspects of yourself. It is the connection you have to your authentic self and the world around you. Here you learn how to work with your mind, to connect to your intuition and open your system to a deeper form of trust and knowing.
This fundamental works with ancient and modern esoteric and spiritual teachings, meditation practices, ritual and intention setting. It opens you up to the magic of life and allows you to connect deeply to your truth, so you can start living it. Inspiration is a dimension that is hard to describe in words, as it surpasses rational thought. Instead, it is something that is best to experience for yourself.
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My experience in regards to inspiration is mostly gained in Mexico and Guatemala where I studied various contemplative traditions intensively at Hridaya Yoga in Mazunte, Mexico. In total I spent over 100 days in silent meditation retreats, including two solitary dark retreats. I can truly say it changed my views of life and the world completely. I also trained with Senia and Freya Melchizedek, who tought me a lot in regards to reconnecting with my I AM Presence, my higher self, and other esoteric practices.